The Christmas cards have begun arriving with the yearly updates on how everyone's sciatica is doing and how old their kids are now. We just send photos, no updates, so if you're wondering, the "kids" are now 24, 22, 18, 16 and 14. As for my husband and me? We are this old:
1. We have now been married for precisely half of our entire lives. WEIRD.
2. (Talking about being married a long time . . . this next statement was made after our trip to the nude beach:)
Husband: All these naked boobs all around me and all I could look at was that long hair on your chin.
3. I have long had stray hairs in odd places, freezing cold hands and feet in bed at night and the inability to make it through the night without a bathroom run. Guess who else is right with me now . . . the old man.
4. I have these two items unironically next to one another on my to-do list:
5. Our 14-year-old was playing a song with explicit lyrics on the kitchen speaker. They were a little too explicit for my husband to feel comfortable with our daughter blasting in the kitchen.
Husband: "Hey Google! Play NSF, um, not suitable for . . . wait, no, play the uh--oh man--the censored, er, the, oh! The radio edit versions of songs from now on."
Google (rolls eyes) : Whatever, Dad.
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