Five on Friday: The Third Has Started College

A few weeks ago, we brought our son to college to start his freshman year and I didn't shed a single tear. Why not? Some reasons:

1. This is our third child going off to college. I didn't cry when he got on the kindergarten bus, either.

2. Unlike the first two that chose a college five hours away, this guy is just an hour away. Easy-peasy.

3. Honestly, he's been in that "my prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed yet causing me to make many poor decisions" stage for awhile now. It's completely frustrating but does make it easier for a parent to say "Buh-bye! Have a great time at college! Try to make good decisions!" and then turn around with a dry face.

4. He was enrolled in a summer program that had him at school four days a week for five weeks. It was a really great experience, introduced him to people and the campus and earned him seven credits. It also got us used to not having him here.

5. Maybe the biggest reason is this last one, a story I've shared with many parents sending their first kids off to college:

Fall 2019: We took our first to college. It was hard. I cried.

Spring 2020: She came home for spring break and then finished the year virtually because of the pandemic.

Fall 2020: She started her sophomore year and her brother started his freshman year at the same school . . . but both from home, virtually.

Spring 2021: They got to go back to school. Only one parent was allowed to help them move in, so my husband took them. Our daughter was living alone in a suite and our son was in a hotel room. Their classes were still virtual even though the younger kids had switched to hybrid by then. It wasn't much of a college experience.

Of all the age groups that suffered in different ways from the isolation, I truly felt the worst for my college kids. They should have been living with friends and learning from professors and exploring their new city and learning who they were away from us. But they didn't get the chance to, until . . .

Fall 2022: Both parents were allowed to take them this time. Together we got them settled into new places with friends. We left knowing they'd be starting in-person classes soon . . .  our sophomore's first time at college. I felt so happy for them getting to experience college fully, in the way that they deserved, that I did not cry when we left two kids five hours away.

The moral of the story, bittersweet though it may be, is to remember what an absolute privilege it is to be given the opportunity to go to college. I truly am happy that our third child is  able to take advantage of living on campus, with friends, taking in-person classes and getting to learn who he is without us.

And hopefully that prefrontal cortex develops a little before Thanksgiving break.