Recently I shared with you that our youngest is still a pip. Today I'm here to break the news: I'm pretty sure that being funny is just a defense mechanism because she's not just a pip, she's also frequently a pain in the ass.
Sorry you had to find out this way.
Some recent examples:
1. At the doctor for her recently, the nurse asking intake questions asked if I, Mom, of clearly different race than my daughter, have the same issue (conceivably to determine if it runs in the family). I paused for a moment and said, "I'm not her biological mother." I could see the nurse felt awkward so I kept the conversation moving, mentioning that I have some of her family's health history but not all, etc.
This is when my child elbowed me and whisper-hissed, "Shhh, Mom, stop, you're so embarrassing."
2.
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| Fourteen days later: still blank and she just asked me if I ever bought that lotion she asked for. |
3. On our summer vacation, I told the kids I had some brochures from the lobby and they should take a look and let me know if they'd like to take an excursion.
Her response: "Mom, don't say that word."
Me, confused: "What's wrong with the word excursion?"
Her, visibly cringing: "Nothing. I just . . . I don't like hearing you say it."
4. She believes it is her natural born right to get professional manicures and pedicures on demand. When she got tired of my refusing to pay for them, the 14-year-old girl with no steady source of income sent this:
5. After not seeing her much for a few days, she came down from her room and approached me where I was sitting on the couch, saying, "Mom, I think I have separation anxiety."
I tried to pull her down to me for a hug saying, "Aw, you miss Mommy!"
Her: "Ugh don't touch me. Can I have an ice pop?"
Me: "Well what did you mean when you said you have separation anxiety?"
Her: "I don't know, I was up in my room and I, like, felt sad. It's like . . . I want to see you but like . . . not touch."
😆😆
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