Here are some recent ways I'm quite feeling my middle age recently:
1. I tried playing Marco Polo with the kids recently. When it was my turn to be Marco, I had to quit. Apparently walking around the pool with my eyes closed made me feel super dizzy. What the hell.
2. My child requested that I buy candy that's "not dumb candy that old people like, like Butterfingers. We want Skittles and sour things." (Related to this: I am positively horrified at the thought of combining Skittles and M&Ms in a bowl, but the youngest members of this family see no problem with that at all. I'm raising monsters.)
3. It doesn't matter how many times my kids remind me or roll their eyes at me: I never, ever remember that I can swipe up.
4. I love using gifs, which, according to my offspring, is basically a habit of senior citizens.
5. I bit the bullet and enlarged the font on my phone. I don't have a Kindle or like reading novels on screen (again with the total Boomer moves), but sadly I can't enlarge the font in my paper books.
So I have provided endless comic relief for my family by purchasing some $2 readers.
You're welcome, kids. |
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