Five on Friday: Rhetorical Questions in the Bathroom

Ah, the bathroom. Not just a small room for fulfilling basic bodily functions but also a tiny sanctuary. Where do we run and shut the door to make a phone call (or to be interviewed on the radio, if you're me)? Where do we sometimes pretend we're still pooping just so we can read in silence?

Of course sometimes they follow us there, but that's what locks are for.

I'm beyond those days of having a young visitor, but based on these five rhetorical questions I frequently find myself asking while I'm in the bathroom, my kids are always with me while I'm in the there. Like:

1. When oh when will they all be old enough that I'll no longer find pee on the seat or the floor?

2. Does this roll of toilet paper feel . . . damp????

3. WHY EVEN HAVE A CLEVER JINGLE IF A CERTAIN SOMEBODY IS NEVER GOING TO FLUSH IT DOWN WHEN IT'S BROWN?

4. Really little dog? The kids don't follow me in here anymore but you love me so much you willingly enter the room of your seasonal water torture?

5. Oh sweet Jesus what fresh hell is this?