Five on Friday: From Zero to Hero

I have long considered  Mothers' Day to be a Hallmark holiday designed to guilt people into spending money. Sure, I'm as much of a  sucker for hand print card and a painted macaroni necklace as the next Mom, but that's all I really needed. Okay, a few extra hugs might be nice, but really that's all I expect from the day. Fine, someone else can pick up the garbage that the bear knocked over. But that's it! Really! No going out to brunch and please for the love of all that is holy, never ever that open ass heart jewelry from Dr. Quinn. 

But last weekend my family knocked it out of the park. They might regret it as now my Mothers' Day expectations are way different.

Here are the top five things about it:

1. Homemade cards: Okay I couldn't pick one favorite but I'll just pare it down to three highlights:

He also included "Thanks for making dinner most of the times."

Inspired by the *amazing* song by Mr. T. I truly pity the fool who hasn't watched it. (And that's a bicep, not a tush)

The oldest painted this for me and added sparkly foil

2. Gifts: Gifts? I don't expect real store bought gifts! Recently our George Foreman grill "mysteriously" fell off the counter and broke. My middle boys were in the kitchen at the time and had "no idea" how it happened. For awhile, the destructiveness was cute and sort of funny, like the dent in the wall from Z's head (that he's PROUD of). But the breaking of the 15-year-old way-too-small-for-our-family but frequently used anyway grill nearly pushed me over the edge. So for Mothers' Day I was presented with a super duper deluxe model Cuisinart indoor grill that has about a thousand functions. Daddy O also bought a ton of delicious ingredients to make some amazing lunch and dessert with it.

3. Video: We're big on movie making over here. Years ago we filmed an adaptation of the Three Billy Goats Gruff. G, who was 5 years old at the time, was the troll under the bridge. To him, a troll meant a troll doll so he insisted on being naked with a crazy pink wig on. It's hysterical.

They remade the movie so the youngest two could be involved. G, now 15, asked for $500 to perform naked. He then said he'd do underwear for $80 and later agreed to underwear for the last two pancakes stuffed with extra chocolate chips. The film might be the best thing I've ever seen and I'm not allowed to share it with anyone so just use your imagination and laugh along with me.

And yes, I can't wait for my kids to write their autobiographies.

4. Hike: We love the family hike! We got to use our newly prepared hiking backpack and it worked out great. We found morels! I never found or tried them before! I was very excited and they were, in fact, delicious.

"The forest got really evil all of a sudden"

Hello, morels!

5. Entertainment: After cards and gifts and a visit to the Grandparents and a hike and delicious loaded grilled cheeses and a nap . . . there was more! A family screening of Moana (my first time, the kids' third) and later Daddy O and I had scored some free tickets to see Postmodern Jukebox. It was a really fun show and pretty much the perfect way to end my day.


Good luck topping this next year, family-a-rinos!