It’s our fifth kid’s last day of being
five so today's list is all about her!
We didn’t expect you, kiddo, and we
didn’t think you would stay. The thought of falling in love with baby and
then not having her with us forever was a bit scary. But you needed a soft place
to land and we had one. And as soon as
we heard about your existence, we loved you. We couldn’t say no.
But you came when we were
already getting old and tired. Looking back, though, I do believe there were both disadvantages AND advantages to
being the fifth kid. I am sorry and not sorry for:
1. I am
sorry that you often were fed by bottle-prop. I am not sorry that your siblings
got to hold and feed you frequently.
2. I am
sorry that you got no infant massage class, tumble time, toddler story hour.
Well not formally anyway. You got that at home with me and from all the small
hands that wanted to help with the baby.
3. I am
sorry that you got me and Daddy at our oldest and most exhausted. But you also
got us at our most experienced in raising babies and toddlers stage! That has to count for something, right?
4. I am
sorry that you got to have all sorts of sweets and gum and tastes of soda WAY
before any of the other kids did. But I am sure you are not sorry about that at
all.
5. Lastly and most seriously: I am
sorry that you didn’t get to stay with your first parents. I really am. I know
that is something that you get sad about sometimes, too, and will continue to
have feelings to work through as you get older. But I will never be sorry that
we took chances: on saying yes to a baby that might not stay, to simultaneously
wishing you could go back and that you’d never leave, to opening up our hearts
and lives to your first parents. You might not be able to live with them but
the fact that you can know them and love them as you grow here with us is an
amazing gift I never thought we’d be lucky enough to receive.
Blink! Tomorrow you will be six. Happy Birthday, big girl. I love you.
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